The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many a thing. Of peroxide, soap and vinegar, for cleaning house in spring.

Yup, it's time for that annual frenzy of spring cleaning, and this column is dedicated to how to do it greenly.

First, arm yourself with a basket to save yourself steps. In it, place:

Four spray bottles -- Label them for the following contents. In one, mix 1„3 cup vinegar and ¼ cup rubbing alcohol -- works like Windex, to clean glass and slick surfaces: windows, large appliances. Removes permanent marker. Wash outside of windows vertically; inside, horizontally. Then you'll know where the streaks are.

Another will hold half hydrogen peroxide and half water. This solution will remove most stains. Spray on white grout, etc. and let sit for 30 minutes. Scrub with baking soda if stain is stubborn. Removes blood stains.

The third will hold a sudsy formula of water with dish-washing liquid, to gently clean appliances and kitchen surfaces without leaving a residue. Safe on marble, Corian, etc.

And the last, plain warm water, to rinse residue from surfaces.

Alka-Seltzer -- Drop two in the toilet to clean it in 30 minutes. Unclog drains with three tablets, followed by a cup of vinegar, then hot water. Two in a glass of water will clean jewelry in two minutes. Toss two to soak in hard-to-clean vases and thermos bottles.

Baking soda -- To eliminate odors and provide an abrasive action on tough dirt.

Several cheap foam brushes' -- To dust out hard-to-get places, like slots, slits and computer keyboards.

Foaming Bubbles -- Will clean grubby crevices effortlessly. Or spray your vinegar solution on sprinkles of baking soda for similar results.

And of course, the usual scrub brush, sponges, old tooth brush, paper towels and rags.

Avoid use of "orange" cleaners on rubber or marble. They are petroleum-based and will harm them.

Clean artificial flowers, etc. by shaking them in a paper bag containing salt.

Loosen cooked-on gunk in the microwave by zapping half a cup of water for two minutes.

Sprinkle baking soda on upholstered furniture and carpet. Let it sit for a half hour, then vacuum up dirt and odors thoroughly.

Scrub your garbage disposal with baking soda to freshen. Grind up lemon peels and ice cubes to clean and sharpen blades.

Take drapes to the dry cleaner, or hang them outside on a windy day.

Flip mattresses top to bottom and head to foot. Vacuum thoroughly. Sprinkle with lavender water for restful sleep and insect repellent. Consider buying a mattress cover to discourage dust mites, particularly if someone has allergies.

That should keep you out of mischief for a week or so. I may get around to doing some of it myself. It's an example of "do as I say, not as I do." I'm no Martha Stewart, and I researched on the Internet for many of these tips.

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