August 14, 2013

Emails, part of modern life, can be entertaining

By SUSAN TOBIAS, Pinch of Time

---- — Anybody with email service knows that random emails are part of life today. Some I like. Some I delete.

However, some are so true, cute or funny that I have to share them:

“One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age and just things in general. The grandfather replied, 

“Well, let me think a minute, I was born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the ‘pill.’

“He continued: ‘There were no credit cards, laser beams or ballpoint pens. Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers (the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air) and space travel was only in Flash Gordon books.’

“Taking a deep breath, he went on: ‘Your grandmother and I got married first, and then lived together. Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, ‘Sir,’ and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, ‘Sir.’

“We were before computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Bible, good judgment and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

“Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

“We thought fast food was eating half a biscuit while running to catch the school bus. 

“Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends, not purchasing condominiums.  You could buy a new Ford coupe for $600, but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. 

“Then the ‘old man’ went for the gold: In my day ‘grass’ was mowed, ‘coke’ was a cold drink, ‘pot’ was something your mother cooked in, ‘rock music’ was your grandmother’s lullaby, and ‘software’ wasn’t even a word.”

Know how old this “grandfather” is? He is 69 years old. I’m 66 and can attest that this is all true. I’m sure you can relate if you’re over 60.

Another email I received gave me a good chuckle, and I share it to make you smile:

“A fifth-grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in 20 ways to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results:

“God is like:

Bayer Aspirin, He works miracles; 

Coke, He’s the real thing;

Hallmark cards, He cares enough to send His very best;

Tide, He gets the stains out other (gods) leave behind;

General Electric, He brings good things to life;

Walmart, He has everything;

Scotch tape, You can’t see Him, but you know He’s there;

Allstate, You’re in good hands with Him;

The U.S. Post Office, Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination;

Chevrolet, The heartbeat of America;

Maxwell House coffee, Good to the very last drop, and

Bounty, He’s the quicker picker upper, can handle the tough jobs, and He won’t fall apart on you.”

No matter how much we complain about junk mail in the mailbox, telephone calls selling the latest invention or email on the computer, I’m sure we can all agree that life has changed considerably since the “baby boomers” arrived. But I’m encouraged to know that kids can still make me laugh with their innocent observations of life. I hope that never changes.

One last thought, as always, please be kind to each other. The world needs more kindness.

Susan Tobias lives in Plattsburgh with her husband, Toby. She has been a Press-Republican newsroom employee since 1977. The Tobiases have six children, 18 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. They enjoy traveling to Maine and Colorado, and in her spare time, Susan loves to research local history and genealogy. Reach her by email at