Single father runs household on common sense

LEWIS — Raising four sons might seem tough for a single parent in any economy.

But tough conditions can pull a family together.

Order in Jeff Davey's household comes from everyone working together and living simply with little waste.

Organization fends off the sharp edge of economic hardship, providing a kind of insulation from recession.

job chart
Cupboards in the Davey household are lined with home-canned carrots, sauerkraut and potatoes.

A few jars of bulk dry goods sit on a clean, uncluttered kitchen counter.

Economy-sized oatmeal guards the sparkling top of the family refrigerator.

A job chart lists chores for everyone, even the youngest, 6-year-old Logan, who says he sometimes has to "act like you're doing something."

Jeff works as a pressman for a local Web printing shop.

His hours can be long, sometimes overtime.

The worst part of any hectic day?

"Socks," Jeff said, with a deadpan glare.

They sometimes end up in balls in living-room corners. And sorting 20 pairs of boys' socks in the laundry is an arduous task.

"The word is simplify," said the divorced father. "To me, everything comes out of that."

Simplifying incorporates routine, so the entire family knows what to expect and what to count on.

"I have meals planned before I go to work in the morning. And when the kids get home from school, they do their chores," Jeff said. "Between them, they do probably 50 percent of the daily housework."

JOBS ROTATE
Everybody pitches in.

"Logan, he'll bring the dirty laundry down from upstairs. He's got to have his job or he'll feel left out."

The older boys, Nicholas, 13, Sebastian, 12, and Julien, 8, each have their own task. Doing things they are good at can help keep the household moving.

Every few weeks, menial chores rotate, a kind of family-style cross-training.

"I help the younger boys," Nick said, admitting it's kind of fun to keep track of little brothers.

"Yeah, right," Sebastian replied. "I clean."

"I have to make the beds," Julien said.

Every day?

"Yeah."

Sometimes Logan puts silverware away after dishes are done.

JOINT PARTY
Working together also means being able to share.

Another way to simplify, Jeff found, involves holding one collaborative birthday party.

Three of the boys were born in the same four-week stretch.

"We have one grand birthday party. Everybody has friends over at the same time," Jeff said. "They like it, and I only have one mess to clean."

It is not out of the question for the boys to share one big gift, either.

And recycling has a whole different purpose here.

Even the inflated holiday snowman lighting up the Davey front lawn was about to be thrown away by a neighbor when Jeff intervened.

"You see that ponytail on the back of the snowman's hat? It had a hole there, and we tied it. It works just fine.

"This is how to plan for a rainy day. You look at every day and don't waste."

SET PRIORITIES
Jeff sees the current economic downturn as a good time for rearranging priorities.

Living simply makes a good insulator.

"I look at the economic crisis as a benefit to people. When people simplify, it brings families closer. With less running around, they have more time together."

As a people, Americans have become extremely wasteful, he said.

"We've forgotten how good we truly have it. Any infringement on our way of life is devastating because we've never had to go without."

LIFE LESSONS
As a child from a large family, Jeff learned early to share or go without.

"I think I learned everything from my dad. He grew up during the Great Depression in North Dakota. I never even saw store-bought ketchup until I left home.

"But, at the time, growing up, I learned absolutely nothing. I was all velocity and no direction; those were my dad's words. Then I paid attention. To this day, he's my best friend."

Jeff's father, now 81, lives in Myrtle Beach and still gets calls from his son about how to put up food using tried-and-true family recipes.

FEW CREDIT CARDS
Borrowing is not part of Jeff's plan.

Credit is what you get when you've accomplished something.

It doesn't come from a financial institution.

"The way we live, we don't use credit. We have nothing that's not paid for. Credit cards are for emergency purposes. It's how I lived my whole life."

The only thing Jeff would add to the closely knit mix is a little more individual time for each child.

"Being able to have quality time, one on one, is difficult, because there's always something.

"But I'm not unhappy about the way I learned. I've learned how to be a very patient person."

E-mail Kim Smith Dedam at: kdedam@pressrepublican.com