Press-Republican

On Religion

January 23, 2013

What preachers are scared to say: Part 1

The powers that be in professional sports know that it's easier to fire embattled coaches than to push powerful athletes out the door.

Pastors know that the same pattern usually holds true when push comes to shove in religious sanctuaries. The sad result is often a vicious cycle of fear, stress, doubt, despair, workaholism, frustration and fatalism.

In his book "Counseling Christian Workers," the late Dr. Louis McBurney -- a Mayo Clinic-trained psychiatrist known for helping clergy in times of crisis -- summed it up with one sad, exhausted quotation from an anonymous minister hurt by powerful people in his pews.

"There's nothing wrong with my church," said this pastor, "that wouldn't be solved by a few well-placed funerals."

The Rev. Gary Brinn has heard clergy offer variations on that line, with the most common being that, on occasion, "pastors get to bury their problems." It's the kind of blunt talk pastors share when privately talking shop. It's not the kind of thing they would say to their flocks, not even to the angry goats in the pews.

"You would think the one place people would practice some manners and show some understanding would be in church, but too often that just isn't the case," said Brinn, who leads the Sayville Congregational United Church of Christ, on the South Shore of Long Island. "Sometimes you just want to say, 'Have a little kindness, folks.'"

Recently, Brinn went toe to toe with one "bushy-bearded rogue" after this year's late-night Christmas Eve service. In this case, the once-a-year churchgoer wanted the pastor to know that the service -- which blended Christmas hope with the sobering realities of Hurricane Sandy and the massacre in Newtown, Conn. -- was one of the worst services he had ever attended in his life.

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