I wish I'd said that!" That's my reaction when someone says something terribly clever.

Through the years, many wits have come up with funny or profound thoughts. So pour another cup of coffee or tea, and ponder those listed below, for they all deserve more than a passing glance.

A favorite of mine was penned by Dorothy Parker: "If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised,"

"Bury me next to a straight man," was Groucho Marx's request.

Bill Maher counsels, "Face the fact that there's only one surefire way to erase credit-card debt. By picking up a big, shiny pair of scissors and cutting your wife in half.

Golda Meir faced the music when she decided: "I don't want to have a bad influence on anybody, but there's no point in my giving up cigarettes now. I won't die young".

I don't know what Henry Miller was referring to when he said, "Life, as it is called, is for most of us one long postponement."

He wrote great plays and married Marilyn Monroe, after all.

ROSES ARE RED

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain," was the opinion of Lily Tomlin.

Ever-funny Bob Hope confided, "My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

Who else but Casey Stengel could have said, "All right, everyone line up alphabetically according to your height."

Erma Bombeck frequently said things we could relate to, including: "It's a frightening feeling to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style."

Those of you old enough to remember Oscar Levant can imagine him saying, "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I."

"A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin," said H. L. Mencken.