Published May 02, 2008 09:00 pm - A technique called 1-2-3 Magic takes the emotion and power struggle out of disciplining children. It's a proven system for Beekmantown mom Cathy Buckley and her family.
Counting on good behavior
By SUZANNE MOORE
Features Editor
Cathy Buckley can get her kids' attention without a single word.
She raises one finger, then two ...
Olivia, 9, and Ian, 6, know three fingers mean time out.
Always.
"The whole concept of consistency in discipline is very important," said the Beekmantown mom.
Buckley uses a system called 1-2-3 Magic, developed by clinical psychologist Thomas Phelan and taught locally in workshops given at Childcare Coordinating Council of the North Country's Family Connections Resource Center.
It's a simple and commonsense approach to discipline that is easy to blend into the family dynamic, said center Coordinator Juliette Lynch, who teaches it and the follow-up program, More 1-2-3 Magic.
The counting technique takes the emotion out of discipline, she said.
"A lot of times the parent is talking too much, has too much emotion. They turn it into a big power struggle, and the child sees they're getting a reaction."
Buckley first watched the 1-2-3 Magic videos when Olivia was just 3 months old.
"I'm a planner," she laughed.
"My husband and I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Sometimes, you can have different parenting approaches to things."
And though she knew the technique works best starting at about age 3, she began counting to counter Olivia's baby misdeeds at about 15 months.
The toddler didn't quite understand yet, "but I wanted the process to be established," Buckley said.
The place for time out then was Mom's lap; later it became the children's bedrooms.