Anyone who has ever stepped on a rusty nail, broken a collarbone or put an arm into a threshing machine knows one thing: Our health-care system stinks.

We have fantastic doctors and caring nurses. Top hospitals. The best technology in the world. All sorts of good drugs. The system, however, is at the bottom of the barrel.

Whenever one of us goes to the hospital, we hold our breath. How much will this cost? What part will my insurance cover? "I wonder if I'll bleed to death" is only third or fourth on the list of concerns. For the millions who don't have health insurance at all, it's even worse.

It's just not right, and everyone else seems to know it.

Health-insurance premiums keep rising, but fewer and fewer things are covered.

Doctors get bonuses for NOT treating you. And -- this is my favorite part -- hospitals will charge the insanely rich HMOs one price for services provided, but uninsured low-income citizens will be charged a higher price. Makes perfect sense.

Sure, those of us near the border can simply sneak into Canada and claim asylum whenever we come down with a chronic condition, but then we lose the benefits of our American citizenship, like the right to free speech and the right to vote on American Idol for only standard text-messaging costs.

People in our country seem oblivious to the fact that it's not this way everywhere. In fact, it's not this way anywhere. Even with world travel simple and easy, and unlimited information at our fingertips, we've somehow insulated ourselves. We've lived with deductibles and co-pays and pre-approved services for so long that we think that's just the way it is. Can't be changed because "¦ well, same reason we can't give women the vote. That's the way it is.

Walk into a hospital in any other industrialized country in the world, and they won't glance at your insurance card, make you wait while they call an accountant and then tell you to go home until you've lost 25 percent more blood. That's only what we do in the most prosperous nation on the planet.

If you're unaware of how this works in other countries, watch Michael Moore's "Sicko" (don't worry, it's not political) for a basic primer.

The Republican candidate for president essentially supports the status quo. His health-care plan is "survival of the fittest." Those who deserve to live will make it until they're old enough to be rewarded with Medicare. For others, it simply wasn't meant to be, and the species will be stronger for it.

The two Democratic candidates have plans that they say are universal, but both essentially work within the existing system, finding different ways to stick someone into an HMO plan with ever-expanding co-pays and outrageous deductibles and a 1,000-page list of treatments we can't have.

To me, they're simply tweaking a terribly flawed plan. It's like building an NFL football team's defense with 11 ballerinas. You can put them in a cover-two, you can blitz the linebackers, you can swap in a few exotic dancers instead, but the Patriots are still going to score at will on you.

It's like forming a rock band with an accordion, bagpipes, cowbell and a caged hyena that lets out a hideous scream when you pull its tail. You can switch from Led Zeppelin cover tunes to the Rolling Stones; you can add in a tuba or an air horn; you can dress your band in thongs and tassels. People still aren't going to listen.

At this point, I expect our next president to stand up and say on inauguration day, "I'd like to provide you with universal health care, but to be honest, we're not as ingenious as the French" or "Our people aren't really as deserving as the Canadians."