Press-Republican

Columns

July 6, 2013

Person's reaction to 'No' says a lot

A while ago, one of our sons was talking with some of his friends. The friends were angry as they felt that a young lady had mistreated our son. They asked him, “Why don’t you ever say anything bad about her?” Our son’s response? “My dad wouldn’t, so I don’t.” Wow.

I often tell teenagers that someone who bashes an ex will someday bash them, too. I encourage them to observe how a potential romantic partner treats other people, especially past friends and loves. 

This test could be applied to any relationship, in any phase of life. To me, a true measure of a person is how they react to the word “No.” Upon hearing it, do they reject whoever uttered it? Launch a smear campaign on that person? Walk out, perhaps?

What about hurt? I am learning that the question isn’t whether we will get hurt, but what will the hurt reveal? Will our relationship survive betrayal? And what if I am the inflictor? Am I brave enough to stay and mend the break? I can’t say which role is more comfortable for me, forgiver or forgiven. They are both tough, and my natural inclination is to bail. I have, however, been forgiven by some of the best people I know. And I hated it. I hated that I hurt them. I hated that I was exposed. But I am honored to wear their forgiveness.

What about breakups? How easy is it to accept that we are no longer wanted? I find that human nature demands a final score for any breakup; a winner and a loser. When two people part, though, it usually has something to do with both of them, and mostly that something is only between the two of them. Rumors and side-taking blur the real issue; that two people loved and lost and have to go on. Would blame change any of that? 

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Columns
  • Tobias_Sue_012914.jpg World in palm of our hands

    A newsroom workshop made writer Susan Tobias realize how far technology has come since she started working at the Press-Republican.

    April 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Mulholland_Jonathan.jpg Running tips to get you in top form

    Different limb lengths, tighter muscles, stiffer joints, prior injuries all play role in determining your running style, Jonathan Mulholland writes.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • clute_cropped.jpg When children are put at risk

    Adults who deal drugs, commit domestic violence and other crimes with kids present are guilty of yet another crime, writes columnist Penny Clute.

    April 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Walace_Jolene 7-12_cropped.jpg Let these tips on planting trees take root

    You may think that digging a hole and plopping the tree in will suffice, and it will if you only want the tree to live a short time, columnist Jolene Wallace writes.

    April 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • ouellette.jpg Web doctor always gets it right

    I have access to the collected medical knowledge of all recorded history at my fingertips, columnist Steve Ouellette writes.

    April 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • colin_read.jpg Airport projects can benefit local economy

    Using a local workforce keeps wages and spending in the community if it can be done in a cost-effective manner, according to columnist Colin Read.

    April 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Gast_Richard.jpg Producers can recycle tubing

    Project allows maple-syrup makers to conveniently dispose of their used tubing in an environmentally friendly way, according to columnist Richard Gast.

    April 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Terry_Mattingly.jpg Easter with doubters and the 'nones'

    Should more pastors ask this blunt question: "Do you really believe Jesus was raised from the dead?" wonders religion columnist Terry Mattingly.

    April 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Black_Peter_2014_cropped.jpg Canadiens are Canada's team

    The National Hockey League playoffs are underway, and for Canadiens fans, many of whom likely reside in the Montreal "suburb" of Plattsburgh, it is a time of hope and joy.

    April 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • amy_ivy.jpg Is it time to plant? Not yet

    All we can do is wait and see how things get through, columnist Amy Ivy writes.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

Peter Black: Canadian Dispatch

Lois Clermont, Editor

Cornell Cooperative Extension

Richard Gast: Cornell Ag Extension

Bob Grady

Guest Columns

Peter Hagar: Cornell Ag Connection

Health Advice

Ray Johnson: Climate Science
Gordie Little: Small Talk

Terry Mattingly: On Religion

Steve Ouellette: You Had To Ask

Colin Read: Everybody's Business

Pinch of Time