Press-Republican

Columns

December 16, 2012

Extinction event on the way

(Continued)

Don’t worry anymore about Global Warming. That would have taken forever to end the world; in a few days, the Earth’s molten core could shoot to the surface and swallow everything in a boiling tempest of destruction. So leave your engines running, overnight if you like. Break out those aerosol cans. Enjoy.

Now is the time, the last possible time, to do everything you’ve always wanted to do. Skydiving, bungee jumping, bull riding, ballroom dancing, cat juggling, cross-dressing, abstract painting, fire-walking, sword swallowing, tuba playing. Visit the Grand Canyon. Write that book (maybe a novella).

Now is the time to tell your boss what you really think of him, then take the rest of the week off. Now is the time to tell somebody you love her. Heck, tell everybody you love them, even if it’s not really true.

Stop planning for tomorrow; there is no tomorrow. Unless, of course, there’s some kind of ancient Mayan clerical error.

Still, at the very least, we’re in for the most dangerous Winter Solstice ever.

Email Steve Ouellette: ouelllette1918@gmail.com

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Columns
Peter Black: Canadian Dispatch
Lois Clermont, Editor

Cornell Cooperative Extension

Richard Gast: Cornell Ag Extension

Bob Grady

Guest Columns

Peter Hagar: Cornell Ag Connection

Health Advice
Ray Johnson: Climate Science
Gordie Little: Small Talk
Terry Mattingly: On Religion

Steve Ouellette: You Had To Ask

Colin Read: Everybody's Business

Pinch of Time