February 10, 2013

Gifts to avoid on Valentine's Day


Do not give your love an appliance. I know, I know, the new microwave has 47,000 watts and can reheat a pizza in 1.4 seconds. This, however, is not a practical holiday. Trust me.

Do not give your love cash. Best case, it tells her that you have no idea who she is and what she likes. Worst case, she screams that she is “not some kind of cheap trollop you can just buy.” I realize that you as a man would gladly accept cash over almost any other potential Valentine’s gift. That is irrelevant.

I’d like to wish a Happy Valentine’s Day to all, especially to my beloved wife. Sorry dear. Again.

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