January 13, 2013

What became of life for grown-up 'Peanuts' characters?


Linus stopped carrying the blanket in ninth grade, though he still keeps it in a box under his bed.

Snoopy, the world’s most popular dog, didn’t make it to the 21st century. Come on, he’s a dog; that would be like 470 in dog years. He died at age 16, struck by a newspaper delivery truck while chasing the Red Baron. To save Charlie Brown’s feelings, his never-seen parents told him that they had sent Snoopy to the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm for the fresh air.

Lucy van Pelt, the sometimes abrasive older sister of Linus, went to college to get a psychology degree. She joined a sorority, developed a drinking problem and dropped out of school. She stalked the Creedence Clearwater Revival keyboard player for about three years, but straightened out her life and became the host of a radio talk show “The Doctor is In,” though she is still not a real doctor.

The devilishly cute yellow bird Woodstock perished tragically … at the teeth of his longtime best friend, Snoopy, who Charlie Brown had absentmindedly forgotten to feed for three days in a row. Tasted just like chicken.

Tomboyish Peppermint Patty blossomed when she got to college and was third runner-up at the Miss America pageant, though she dropped the Peppermint from her name, feeling it made her sound like an exotic dancer. She married and divorced a well-known member of the New York Yankees.

Hygienically challenged Pig-Pen was never able to hold a steady job or find true love because of his personal grooming problems. He began smoking at age 10 — that cloud wasn’t always dust — and died of lung cancer in his early 40s.

Sally Brown, Charlie’s precocious sister, quickly lost her adolescent crush on Linus. She married the always underutilized Franklin right after high school, at the time a scandalous interracial marriage. Franklin was later elected to three terms in Congress, while Sally inherited her dad’s barbershop and turned it into an upscale salon with her partner Frieda, the girl with the naturally curly hair.

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